Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Being the Strong one ...



A very wise woman once told me that in her marriage, her and her husband had a phrase that they would say to each other whenever times got tough and one of them was overwhelmed - "I've got the line". You see, they believed that the other side of the line was held by God and they took turns holding up their end of the line and sharing the responsibility of the weight. I wholeheartedly believe that is a healthy way to approach marriage and a relationship - any relationship, be it lovers or friends.

I am in a new relationship and I truly believe that I have found the man I am going to marry, however, he is a little broken right now. And let me start off by saying that I am not trying to fix him, I am not one of those girls that wants the 'project' and then will get tired of him once he's 'all spiffed up' - he is fixing himself. I am just offering support and being the 'strong one' for him during his dark times right now. And his dark times can get pretty dark and he can lean pretty heavily on me. On top of that, one of my best friends is going through some intense things in her life right now and is leaning on me for support as well. So I am also being the strong one for her too.

Now, do not get me wrong, I do not mind being the strong one, or holding the line, or however you want to put it, but I am not going to lie, I have my days when I am not sure I have the strength to keep my grip on it and that I can feel the line slipping. Today is one of those days. So I ask the question - where does the strong one go for support? I feel like the tree on the edge of the cliff that all the other trees are falling against. If I fall, the other trees fall too and we all go over, so I have to keep my roots, but there is nothing for me to lean on, I am entirely dependent on me and my own strength, which is currently being used to hold up everyone else, so what is left for me?

So if my strength is being loaned out to support everyone else, what strength supports me?